Raphael's Costume
by Kariko
Summary: Ever wonder where Raph got his Nightwatcher costume? Wonder no more!


**Raphael's Costume**

**Summary: Ever wonder where Raphael got his Nightwatcher costume? Go Behind the Scenes and find out all about his unexpected old friend who made the costume!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the turtles. Peter Laird does. -sigh-**

**I also know where Raph REALLY got his costume, so don't flame me in the reviews. This was purely made for humor.**

Valen, a small girl with long, red and wavy hair, tapped her microphone carefully. Holding it to her mouth, she spoke loudly into the mic.

"Ladies, and Gentlemen!" she yelled out to her imaginary audience, "Today I am introducing a very special mutant with a slight temper. Please welcome: Raphael Hamato!" she pushed a button on her tape recorder that produced the sound of applause as Raphael himself trudged on the stage.

"Was this really necessary?" he growled as he sat in a huge, white lounge chair.

Valen flashed him a smile. "But of course." she pressed a button that produced laughter and sat in another white chair opposite Raphael. "Do you remember why you're here, Raph?" she said, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"To make a fool of myself?" he said sarcastically. Why did she have to beat around the bush like this?

"No, silly!" she yelled into the mic, but not before pressing the laughter button again. "You're here to tell us how you got your infamous Nightwatcher costume. Now go ahead and tell us the whole story. We've got 23 mintues until _Wheel of Fortune_ comes on."

Back at the sewer, Leo and Don were staring at their TV sets in utter disbelief. "Hey, Master Splinter!" Leo shouted, "Come in here, Raph's on TV!"

"What?" Splinter walked in the room, and sure enough, their hot-tempered bro was on the set of_ Chibi Valen Productions_. "Wow. It really is him." he sat carefully on the end of the couch.

At the set, Raphael leaned back comfortably and prepared to give a little anecdote about his Nightwatcher costume. "Well," he started, "I happen to have an old friend that I visited when Leo was gone. I wanted to fight crime more out in the open, but I needed a costume that only an expert could make."

"So what _did_ you do?" Valen asked out of curiosity

"I'm gettin' ta that part!" Raph crossed his legs, leaned back a bit and continued. "So I figured the only one who could make a costume for me was _her_." he said it as if everyone was supposed to know who 'her' was. "So I. . ."

FLASHBACK TIME

Raph walked up to a large building. He sighed and made his way to the intercom system. After pushing a few buttons, a black man in sunglasses appeared on the screen.

I wonder what she'll say. Raph thought. Haven't seen her in years. . .

"Do you have an appointment?" he asked

"Hey, pal, I'm an old friend!" Raphael protested

"No appointment, no–" he was interrupted by a small women with black hair and large glasses aggressively pushing him out of the way yelling "Away, Away, find some paperwork or something!"

She turned toward Raph in his oversized hooded top and baggy jeans. "What is it, what do you want?!"

Raphael pulled his sunglasses down and raised an eye ridge at her. She simply raised an eyebrow back while muttering the phrase 'My God, you've gotten fat. . .' with a sigh she finally added, "Come on in darling!"

Valen's eyes were wide with childish excitement. "Are you telling me that you know _the_ Edna Mode?! NO WAY!!!" she squealed like the teenage girl she was and pressed a button on the recorder that made the imaginary audience gasp.

"Yeah, it's true. She was friends with Splinter's keeper during the time he was a rat. Well. . . a pet rat, anyway." he leaned in a bit and lowered his voice. "She's actually kind of fond of rats. Did you know she made Splinter's robe?"

"That's awesome!" Valen yelled "Tell us what happened next!"

"Alright." Raph continued, "Well, anyway. . ."

Flashback!

"E, I really need your help. You're the only person I know that can make a costume to fully disguise me, but will make it awesome enough for me to catch all those bad guys runnin' around!"

"Yes, yes, I understand. We will make it. . . bold!" she pulled out a pen, and her sketch pad and drew furiously. She looked up once more. "But fabric alone will not be enough to cover your appearance. I make it steel, darling!" she said scribbling more nonsense on the sketch pad.

"Oh! Can I have a belt on it? To keep the weapons? With a motorcycle helmet and. . . a cape!"

"NO CAPES!" she yelled, tossing a piece of paper at him.

"What? Why not?" Raphael protested

"Do you remember the story I told you? About your brother? What was his name. . . Michelangelo. . ." she narrowed her eyes and continued. "He became the Turtle Titan and made himself a costume instead of doing the right thing and coming to me! He put a cape on it!" she yelled as if giving himself a cape was like breaking a commandment.

"His cape got caught on a bus and he almost goes CRASH!" her hand flew out, inches from Raph's nose. "He almost drowns. . ." she finished solemnly.

"Can't believe nobody ever told me that." Raphael mused.

"No capes." she repeated firmly.

"Alright, alright." Raph put his hands up.

"I KNEW she wasn't going to let you put a cape on there!" Valen shouted.

"Eh, I didn't really want one anyway. Just thought a black or red one might look kinda cool. Scare the criminals a little bit. Especially if it was windy and the cape blew in the breeze while the moonlight shined on me and those lowlifes would run for their lives in a heartbeat!"

"You sure do have an imagination." Valen giggled.

Cue the laughter button, ladies and gents.

Raph blinked. "Well, anyways, after a while, she took me to this room to show me the costume and. . ."

FLASHBACK!

Edna went through the standard security system that had to check her handprint, eyes and voice. "Edna. Mode." she said into the device.

A large gun came out from the ceiling and aimed itself at Raph's face.

"And guest." she smirked as the gun put itself away.

They sat in comfy lounge chairs as she explained Raphael's costume to him.

"The metal is sturdy, but light so that you may move very freely, jumping buildings and whatnot. The roomy abdomen area is easy for you to slip your shell into while the helmet completely covers your face and protects that precious turtle noggin," she tapped him on the head "If your motorcycle ever crashes."

She leaned back comfortably and continued. Rockets were aimed at the costume, but no damaged seemed to be caused "Completely indestructible, bulletproof, fireproof, bugproof, waterproof, and most importantly: Fangirl proof."

Large barbie dolls were shot at the costume, but all of them broke to pieces upon hitting the steel.

Raph's eyes widened at the very sight of it. "Wow! E, that's totally amazing! How do you do it?"

"Classified information, darling. Just try it on!"

Valen nodded with approval. "So overall, you were extremely satisfied with your Nightwatcher costume?"

"Of course." Raphael answered. "It fit like a glove, too." he waved wildly at the camera. "THANKS A MILLION, EDNA!!"

Miles away, Edna Mode was watching TV. She smiled at the screen, proud of herself, and her turtle protégée. "You're welcome, dahling!"

Valen pushed a button on the recorder. "Awww..." cooed the non-existent audience.

"Will you stop that?!" Raphael shouted as he pulled the recorder from her hand, dropped it to the ground, and crushed it with his large foot.

"Hey, that cost three payments of 10.95, buster!"

"Pfft. You sure got ripped off, then." Raphael retorted.

Valen sighed and pulled out her microphone. "Well, ladies and gents, it's time we went off the air. Too bad it has to be so soon–"

"Oh please," Raphael commented. "Feels like I been here forever. I want some pizza."

"_Anyways. . ._" Valen shot a glared at Raph. "Hope yah'll enjoyed the show. Come back next week for another exciting episode! For next week we get to learn about: The Foot Clan Wardrobe!" she said, beaming.

Raphael rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, that's _real_ excitin'."

"Quiet you!" Valen yelled, chucking the mic at Raph's green head. With that, she jumped over the back of her lounge chair and sprinted backstage.

"Yeah, you better run!" Raphael stood up and rushed, full speed, after her. Various crashes were heard backstage.

Valen came hopping out, her feet and wrists tied. She fell in the middle of the stage and looked up at the deceptive audience and smiled sheepishly. "See you guys next week."

In the back of the audience, Michelangelo was laughing at Valen.

Miles away, Edna Mode (and millions of other viewers) were laughing at Valen.

**Kepp in mind that I really DO know where the costume really came from. (And it wasn't from Edna Mode) Flames will be used to roast marshmallows. But reviews would be nice. :)**

**Um. . . hope you enjoyed the randomness! Kiss, Kiss! ; D**


End file.
